Don’t forget to crop your pictures to squares for instagram, and do you want to master the album with an engineer? Do you book a tour yourself or do you get some video content made for youtube? Is it time to look for a label? Do you want to learn how to drive? Can you email the right people at the right time, or do you want to buy a barcode? Do you know photoshop, or can you download your spotify stats into a csv? Do you find a booking agent, or a manager? You can’t find a label without a manager, and don’t forget to look through your instagram archive. PR is essential. It’s time to find a manager, but you can’t find a manager without being on a label. Can you make a radio edit please? Do you want to find a distributor, or do you want a manager to do it? Can’t get a manager without getting good gigs. Can’t believe he’s doing a festival, I should be doing a festival. Do you want to look for an agent? Can you make some merch, or do you want to send an mp3 to a radio station? Are you on mixcloud? Can you think of a song title, or are you on a mental health break? PR company is “not taking on any new clients”. Do you have kids, or do you have a substack? How much publishing would you be willing to give away? Have you thought about getting someone to do your bookings, or do you constantly feel sad? Clip that. Don’t forget to tweet your video (landscape please). And can you email that guy who said he’d write about you last year to see where he is? What’s a UPC? The song is too fast. The algorithm doesn’t like things posted at 2pm. Can you buy an IRSC code, or have you got a big enough car? How much is petrol, and don’t forget to send me those files in CMYK via wetransfer. I’m in the studio. Can I have a wav of that mix, or are you ok being paid in beer? Twitch. Are you vegan, or can you setup a bank account for the royalty payments? I’ve a pdf for the press people. Do you know how much a travelodge is? Can you write a middle 8, or do you want to start a Patreon? Who’s a good singer for this instrumental, or are you good at spreadsheets? Can you do a remix, or are you on a spotify playlist? What time do you finish work, or can you block trolls? Don’t forget to upload the EP to soundcloud. Banner image. That was actually really good. Download this cheat sheet of tariff numbers. Will this be on vinyl, or are you single? Do you know how many copies of the 12” the distro company need? What’s your PayPal login? I’ve whatsapped you. The dimensions for the tape are here. 2 new followers. VAT. The card reader’s broken, or how much do I owe you for the digital distro fee? Put the name of the song in the chorus for the SEO stuff. Kylie Minogue just put her new album out on cassette. Will this be on vinyl? What’s your EORI number? Do you know how tax works, or are you playing guitar on this one? What’s the split and do you want to find a publisher? This would work great on TV, or do you know what Bandcamp’s IOSS number is? Have you thought of teaching? Zoom is good for me, thanks. No-one’s bought tickets. Can you get tote bags? We’re “selling fast”. The room is now twice as expensive. Do your stories before this evening. The shirts came back and look great. I’ve submitted a DMCA takedown on the album. Bandcamp won’t tell me the IOSS number until I upgrade to a pro account. Are you under 40, or can you post a record the cheapest way possible? There’ll be no European tour. Youtube looks good. Bandcamp need a higher res photo. Do you want to stay underground, or have you sorted your iTunes metadata? What time do you need picking up? My laptop just died. Rehearsal is tonight. Don’t forget about instagram. I can’t pay out the money because we haven’t hit £10 yet. Have you heard of Threads? How do you get into writing for TV, or do you want to upgrade to a pro account? Dropbox needs upgrading to a pro account. 7 likes, 2 retweets. The CDs haven’t sold. Number 1 on Bandcamp this morning. Do you know how to fix a guitar cable, or does your passport need renewing? Ever thought about putting this one on vinyl? 2 tapes came back warped. Don’t forget to fill in your customs form, or how much is a burger king? He never received his CD. Check in isn’t til 3. Have you thought of a funny tweet yet? Can you send me your bank details please, or have you done a TikTok? I’ve played there, but can’t remember it. How much is your rent, or can you remember how to get to the venue? I’d delete a tier on your patreon. The venue is now closed. Congratulations on the wedding! Can I borrow your keyboard stand? Load in was supposed to be 45 minutes ago but there’s nowhere to park. Do you want to play a festival, or can you upload this image to your Facebook? I wouldn’t worry about social media. I’d expect 10,000 followers before getting a booking agent. Do you want a booking agent? Are you good under pressure, or have you seen your parents lately? What colour is the 12” insert, or can you make friends with this promoter? My heart keeps skipping beats and this food tastes funny. He thinks I can’t see when he’s logged in to the gmail. Will this be on vinyl, or do you have doubts about where you are in life? The distro company want to pulp 500 CDs. You’ve won an award, or can you fill in this 57 page form for some funding? We need you to book a tour, or can you look over this contract please? I’ve no idea why they won’t write about us- I’ve sent the album to all their editorial team. I’ve sent you £10 for the parking. What’s your PayPal again? This guy won’t leave me alone. Please talk to reception. Can you email your mate, or are you still thinking of a song title? The bluetooth doesn’t work, and the support tour is now no longer happening. That review was nice. We need promotional shots, or can you replace your patch leads? What’s trending. Replace your batteries, and can you get some photos? The bass drum is too loud. The interview is now not going online. Add this tier to your patreon, or do you want to pay £10,000 to support this band on tour? Where’s the van? I’ve lost my bag, or what’s the wi-fi password? The tapes have sold out. Do you have pets, or can you speak German? The t-shirts are all Gildan Heavy. Soundcheck isn’t for another 3 hours. The promoter isn’t responding, so can you get in touch with the label guy? My phone ran out of battery. The visuals are great, or what time is it? I read that piece, very good. Can you join my website, or does your car need it’s MOT? He’s whatsapped again. How much is PA hire, or can you play in a different tuning? No parking. What’s Czech for ‘road’? The bass part needs redoing. My eye hurts, or do you want to headline? Will this be on vinyl? Even if you sign out, Soundcloud very definitely tells you who’s been listening. The publisher is taking the piss, or do you want to sleep on the floor? Can you ring my mum? What’s the postage to America, or do you want to get a manager? Dinner was lovely. What’s a good profit margin, or can you sign up to discord? I’m on Bluesky. They’re only signing indie bands this year, or can you change your name? Mastodon looks good. I definitely know what I’m doing. Will this be on vinyl?
